How To Create A Resilient Mindset

knowing yourself limiting beliefs mental health mindset personal development sharing your message

Do you consider yourself a sponge? What I mean is, do you soak up all the energy around you - the stress, the drama, and the negativity? Perhaps you find yourself dwelling in your own and other peoples’ problems. Or maybe, you wish that you didn’t get so swept up in the negative energies.

If it’s all too easy for you to be dragged down by the things going on around you, then you may be looking to develop better discernment and a more resilient mindset.  

Creating an Impervious Mind ™ takes dedication. Once you’ve made the decision to become mentally resilient and implement the practices I share below, resilience becomes a habit. I’ve been working at this since the age of 10, and can provide you with the tools that you need to become resilient. 

I’ll tell you a bit of my story so that you can see how I dedicated myself to resilience. Then, I’ll give you the tools you need to navigate the uncertainty and overwhelm that all too many of us are feeling so that you can create and maintain a resilient mindset. 

I didn’t always have a resilient mindset

If we have met, you know how I became a survivor, a thriver, and a relentless force. If not, let me give you a brief background on myself:

Nowadays, I'm typically introduced as an attorney, entrepreneur, #1 international best-selling and award-winning author, featured speaker, teacher, trainer, mentor, media host, consultant, coach, philanthropist, and publisher, but my life hasn’t always been filled with success. I had to train myself to become resilient.

 You see, while all the titles and accolades are true, I'm also an abuse survivor, a rape survivor, and domestic violence survivor. I’m a former anorexic who still struggles with body dysmorphia. I’ve struggled financially, lived in my car, and eaten the food restaurants were throwing away at the end of the night. I'm a twice-divorced, childless, middle-aged woman. I’m a cancer survivor and a medical miracle. For over two decades, I've defied the doctors’ death deadlines. I've had 13 major surgeries, and underneath my clothes, my body is covered in scars.

So, how did I go from obstacle to obstacle, and manage to come away with an impervious mindset? The simple answer is that I made a choice. I took determined action, and I was consistent in practicing the tools and strategies I learned and implemented along the way. 

The more detailed answer? I nailed the steps that I detail below, and continue put them into practice every day. These steps are simple in theory, and you can start putting them into practice today. 

Steps to build a resilient mindset

Building a resilient mindset starts with you making the decision to become resilient. You must commit to overcoming any challenges that life brings you and to finding a community that will support you and hold you accountable. Over time, you will become stronger, and you will build an impervious mindset. 

The following are steps you can take to become resilient. These steps aren’t in any particular order, but each one is an important part of your journey. 

Change how you tell your story

A key way to change your story lies in how you tell it. What words are you using? What perspective are you sharing? 

For example, you could choose to tell everyone you meet about the challenges you’ve faced, and lean on them as excuses for why you haven’t reached your goals. 

Or, you can choose to tell everyone about the challenges you’ve overcome. That you’ve readjusted your goals and how when one door closed, you opened another and despite all odds, became a successful, happy, fulfilled person. 

I know you can’t choose what’s happened to you. Believe me, I do. But what I also know is that when you change the story you tell yourself about what’s happened to you, you change your life. 

Be aligned with your why

Your why is your fuel and your anchor. Your why is your reason for being and when you understand your why, it will propel you forward.

Understanding and connecting to your core why gives you an inexhaustible, replenishable, on-demand source of strength, resolve, drive, and focus. 

If you do not yet know your why, that’s okay. Take the time to reflect and ask yourself what drives you. Think about why you do the things that you do, and who you do them for. You may want to make a list of things that are most important to you in life. Then, take that list and ask yourself again for each item, “Why is this important to me?” Then, ask yourself again for each answer, “Why does that matter to me?” 

This process may take many layers to strip away to get to your core why. That’s ok. Just keep digging until you get there. 

Become internally free

When you are strongly aligned with who you are and what you want from life, you will become internally free. Take time to understand your values and why each is important to you. When you are deeply connected to your values, it becomes easier to make decisions that lead you toward your goals. 

When you are developing a resilient mindset, making values-based decisions becomes second nature to you. Everything you do will be in alignment with your goals. You will stand guard at the gate of your mind so fiercely that you won’t let anyone or anything that doesn’t align with your goals stand between you and your bigger future. 

Become intentional about how you spend your time

People with resilient minds are extremely intentional about the messages they consume. This means that if they consume TV, they are very specific about what ideas are presented to them. They may spend more time reading or listening to personal development materials such as books, audiobooks, or podcasts than popular media. 

Be sure to discern what is and isn’t serving you as you build your resilient mind. 

Additionally, be aware of the people you are spending your time with. Are people building you up, or tearing you down? Are they moving in the same direction that you want to be going? Be careful and intentional about who you listen to and associate with. 

Are you ready to build your resilient mindset?

Creating an Impervious Mind™ takes practice. It is something that you will often need accountability and support for. You may end up working with a mindset coach, or joining a community of like-minded people. Depending on what’s most comfortable for you, you might seek out groups that meet in-person, or connect with a global network online.

As you seek out your resilient network, I want to invite you to check out my free event, YOU by Design. This masterclass will teach you how to:

  • Identify what is holding you back from living a joyful, abundant life you love
  • Align your mindset with tools and strategies to take you from where you are to where you want to be
  • Design your custom action plan to help you live life on your terms. 


If you’re ready to live a joyful, abundant life that’s purpose-filled and aligned, then the first step is to build a resilient mindset. 

Are you ready to live a life that’s free by design?