Brooke Emery On Embracing A "Do Good, Have Fun" Philosophy
Looking to increase your income, impact, and influence? Today's guest is recognized as a master connector who helps you do just that! Embracing a "do good, have fun" philosophy, Brooke Emery chats with Ellie Shefi about the magic that unfolds when you create aligned and strategic heart-centered "high vibe" collaborations.
Sharing her inside-out approach to aligned collaboration, Brooke discusses her secrets for living in curiosity and flow so that you can consciously build the business and the life you desire.
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Brooke Emery On Embracing A "Do Good, Have Fun" Philosophy
Our guest is a creative business strategist with roots in advertising, publicity and film, recognized by Forbes Magazine as a connector. She is on a mission to change the traditional joint venture and affiliate marketing models by using her vast global network to create business development strategies that elevate profits and amplify social impact through aligned and heart-centered collaborations.
She is the Cofounder of Link Lab, a joint venture and affiliate management agency that highlights its client’s unique gifts and gets its message out to the masses. She is also the creator of the Self Love and Self Care Community, which teaches people how to love and care for themselves more consciously so they can shine brighter in the world.
A bright light herself, welcome, Brooke Emery. Brooke, you have had quite a journey in advertising, publicity and film. What was the genesis of your drive to create a new model for joint ventures and affiliate marketing? Where did that come from?
First of all, thanks for having me. I have been a connector since a kid. Before the internet, I used to go on vacation and write to all my friends. I would write postcards. My mom was like, “Why are you spending all your time writing postcards to your friends?” When I was in publicity, I did not know that I was going to start creating strategic alliances but I’m a very intuitive person.
When you feel good, that's when you attract good things.
A lot of times when my clients would throw something my way, I worked for a famous jeweler Aaron Basha on Madison Avenue and they had a desire to work with Godiva chocolate. I happened to know the head of PR who was working on the clients for Godiva. I called her up and I said, “Let’s do something.”
We ended up doing an entire campaign together, which was called a Joint Venture. We sponsored Brook Shield’s baby shower because they had these beautiful pendants called the baby shoes. I got hooked on that versus the PR. I could use my talents as a connector to make a business and then I landed in the internet marketing world where I work with personal development speakers, health and wellness authors as well as conscious entrepreneurs.
I ended up learning that game and how I want to shift the joint venture and affiliate marketing world is through more aligned partnerships where they are creative versus tit for tat or I mail for you, you mail for me but it is not an energetic match. These joint ventures do not only feel good but also make profits.
When did you notice that the old way of joint venturing or affiliating was no longer working? What was that moment?
When I worked on a launch and I got adrenal fatigue and walking with pneumonia, I realized that is not how I want to live my life. I was speaking with other clients and they had said they do not want to work that way anymore, the hustle and the tit for tat. There has to be a better, more creative and aligned way that feels good. Life is short and I believe an inside-out approach is possible. Other model, I do not want to make it wrong and it works brilliantly for some people. It is not just an energetic match for the people I want to represent and me.
You have developed something called a High Vibe Collaboration that seems to have stemmed from that but tell us more about that.
In High Vibe Collaboration, we will be doing a five-days on how to create a high vibe and profitable partnerships at the end of March and throughout 2022. We are putting together a container where conscious women business owners can come together. Not only create these creative aligned alliances. Together combined, we have years of experience on how to create joint ventures but we are going to teach these business owners how to consciously create them in a way that feels good.
Also, reminding people to manage their energy and do an inside out approach, how to create strategic attraction plans, approaching it from more of a conscious business as opposed to going out and randomly throwing tomatoes at the wall creating that sisterhood and self-care first because from that high frequency, the Law of Attraction and different spiritual principles, when we feel good, that is when we attract good things to ourselves. We want to operate from that fuzzy versus exhaustion and hustle.
You are exceptionally well connected with a vast global network of heart-centered change makers. What is the best advice that someone has given you?
I would say the best advice someone has given me is to always surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. When taking a risk, look at the downside first and follow-up. It sounds like a simple thing but being your word and following-up, you would think it was an easy thing for people to do but it is important to be your word and to follow-up if you can’t be your word to communicate and to have fun. If it is not fun, it is not worth doing.
Amazing advice from very wise people, yourself included. What is something that you wish that any of your mentors or anyone in your network would have shared with you that would have saved you from some headache or heartache?
I wish that I had known that there are many ways to approach a problem and that compare and despair. I wish I had known that concept earlier in my life and released the should because that is the red flag. It should feel good. It should not be a should. It does not mean you run away from hard things. It is how you can approach it in a way that feels good.
Always surround yourself with people who are smarter than you.
I think that some people who are multi-passionate like myself might make themselves wrong or get into the judgment of themselves because they are not doing it the way that someone who had a very, “I will go to law school,” and this is the next that versus being in this place of curiosity and flow versus feeling like, “I have ADD. I’m all over the place.” My way of doing things is perfect for me and it is all in divine time. That is what I wish I had known earlier.
Compare and despair. Releasing the shoulds is incredibly powerful. When you are faced with that little voice or inner critic when the limiting belief rears its head, when that tinge of comparison or the should start to creep in. How do you deal with it at this point in your journey?
I am a big journal writer. Usually, if I feel triggered or that level of doubt comes in, I know that it is a signal to myself. One, if I’m surrounded by that person, that means it is there for me. It is a possibility. When I got my Strategic Attraction Certification, Jan Stringer had pointed out in the book, The Game of Life and How to Play It, that when Columbus was going across the land, he did not know he was going to reach America but he saw twigs and seaweed. It was a demonstration that there was a sign of land.
Someone is in your world that you are comparing yourself to. It is an opportunity for me to say, “That is available for me,” then there is an opportunity for me to clear whatever it is that is making me feel that and how I can shift it and turn it around through whether it is what I like to call conscious complaining or allowing myself to feel what I feel but then reclaim my power back from that situation.
How do you reclaim your power back in that situation?
I tell the truth about it. I either find a committed listener or I write it out in my journal and then I tell the truth. I vent and I let it out. I give myself permission to feel and be human but I do not stay in the victim closet. I write, “Thank you. I want to surrender this feeling. I want to see it in a new way and this is how I want to feel.”
That is how I reclaim my power back from it. I give myself permission to allow that inner critic to have a voice. I give her a lollipop. It is like a virtual lollipop. Sugar-free organic, of course. I then surrender it. I usually write it in a journal format but it is also equally effective to do it with a committed listener, a coach, a healer or a therapist.
I think that people feel that if they do personal development or they have a negative thought that somehow, the Law of Attraction is going to beat them in the head and something bad is going to happen to them. However, for me, I feel like if you have dust under a beautiful rug, you still have dust under that beautiful rug.
I like to call it soul dusting. We have to soul dust out the feelings. From that place, you can reclaim and say how you want to feel and put your point of attraction in where you want to go. It is important from my journey. I never want to proclaim I know anything but this is what is worked for me, saying that this is how I want to feel after I gave myself permission to be human.
I think that is so important. Give yourself permission to feel the feelings or to process them as you need to then to release them and surrender them without judgment and beating yourself up. We are all on this journey called life. That is powerful. What are some other ways that you prioritize your self-care?
My morning ritual is everything to me. I start my day by writing how I want my day to go, how I want to feel and giving gratitude. I meditate. Sometimes I do not have time to meditate for a full half an hour. It could be as easy as five minutes as closing my eyes but for me, self-care and making sure that I fill my tank so that I have extra for others and for my business and my life is the top priority. Journal writing is me being able to express all the things that are going on here. It gives me a place to put it in the morning then I can carry on with my day.
Has there been a time in your life where you have felt that your voice was stifled and you were being silenced or unheard that then led you down the path of developing your processes for using your voice, getting your clarity and coming home to yourself and processing your feelings? Was there a time when you were stifled in that was the genesis?
If it's not fun, it's not worth doing.
It stems back to my childhood and the confusion of when my parents got divorced. They were working it out in the way that they were working it out. There were a lot of conflicts, fighting and being in the middle of that, in my world, that had to be between them, seeing them navigate, pick up the pieces to their life from observing that and also from everyday insecurities of being a girl in the ‘80s. I always felt like there was more.
My mom had books like Shakti Gawain in the house and Wayne Dyer on cassette tape. Even though in those moments where I felt like I did not have a voice or I could speak up when I needed whether it is shared holidays, that had not been worked out properly. I always look back and say, “I would not have wanted it to be any other way,” because that is what put me on my journey to go and discover how the relationship works and how the relationship with myself works. I will always be a student of that because I never feel cooked or done. There is always more to grow.
Would you say looking back now that navigating those childhood experiences were the most difficult obstacles that you have overcome or have there been others? How did you navigate them to become who you are on the path that you are now?
I would say that was one big one. I would say another two that affected me was being downtown when the towers got hit on 9/11. I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. I had already been on my path at that point but then I had gotten knocked down seeing from my rooftop. I was two blocks away and having to do the healing work from the post-traumatic stress disorder brought me deeper and realized that you could not control the Law of Attraction or be in so much control. I had to do a lot of deep healing work there. I would say after my second daughter was born, I went through post-partum depression.
From that place, I also had to dig deeper within myself that there isn’t a rule or tool to get yourself through something sometimes. As I said before, we need to feel our feelings and do the work to heal the trauma. For me, I was like, “If I have my 9 steps or the 7 steps to nowhere, I will be able to get through this without having to feel those horrible feelings that I was feeling.” Those were moments that hit me hard that I can recall at the moment.
Thank you for sharing those. Those are some profound moments and are quite relatable to so many in the audience. Thank you for taking us back there and for your vulnerability. When you were processing your feelings and taking back your power and healing, what did you find to be the single most powerful tool, process or resource that helped you to heal?
One, I wanted to go back and say something about post-partum. The part that was hard for me with that is that, at that point, I had already been far along on my spiritual journey. The fact that I couldn’t access any of my tools at that moment brought me a lot of shame and upset because I had claimed that I was able to do these things and to be able to surrender.
I would say that it is not one single thing. It was a combination of going to healers. I did a process called Access Consciousness, where you ask a lot of questions. I learned through that process about asking questions but getting out of conclusion and out of judgment of self and judgment of others is the pathway to freedom.
I had another spiritual mentor. I went on these journeys to Sedona with this woman I was guided to spend time with. Her name is Fran. I would go on these synchronicity tours on jeeps. I would say not everybody has the luxury to go to Sedona. I also did traditional therapy. There is nothing wrong with traditional therapy and it was interesting. When I got post-partum, I had called my healer on the phone and she said, “I think you need to get on medication,” and I was mad because I was like, “I want to do this with acupuncture. This is going to be a fast way for me to get help so I can be there for my daughters.”
What was interesting about that experience was that because I did that, it brought me to this moment where I was able to have a very beautiful conversation with my father who mostly understands traditional forms versus what I call Lou forms and that would not have happened. Trusting and finding people that I could trust to share my feelings with were some of the tools that I had access to that moment.
Those are tools that I think so many people can access, reaching out for help. Any resource that you have having the conversations. If you need traditional services, go the traditional route. If you need to supplement that with, you mentioned acupuncture or going to Sedona, finding your community and your tribe, you are never alone in the struggles and experiences. Reaching out and connecting to people that can help you navigate is incredibly powerful. Now, I know that tuning in and trusting your intuition is also fundamental for you. What do you do to create space for yourself to be fully present so that you can hear your voice within?
I do a lot of journaling and I learned through doing the access consciousness work. I never completely subscribed to one thing. I entertain everything and I believe nothing at the same time. It is important to me that people always use discernment when they go explore things that people mentioned. There are a lot of free resources on YouTube. YouTube is your best friend. The question was how do I trust my intuition? When I did the acts, I have always had this feeling and I feel it in a feeling way. It has always been there but I have learned to trust it more by the tool of does this feel light. Does this feel heavy? For me, that is how I’m able to access it.
First, if I can’t access it, I need to do those conscious complaint forms. I have to write out everything then I listen. There is also a tool called Human Design, where you can take a test. It is a combination of astrology, kabbalah, I Ching and a few other things. I learned about myself that if I’m talking to someone else and they ask me questions then I hear it through my ear as an uh-huh and ah-ah. That is also a way that I can access this through speaking with my husband, a friend, a coach or my business partner. Those are some of the ways that I have been able to access. I also walk in nature and meditation.
I love that you said that you listen and hear it as an uh-huh and ah-ah. That is amazing. Let’s talk a little bit more about that dichotomy and about the discernment that you referenced because that is so important. The discernment to know uh-huh and ah-ah and is this for me is this heavy or is this light? The discernment to know what is your voice and what is the voice of the external. The discernment to know when you need to be still or to quiet the noise of the outside world. Let’s dive a little deeper into that. Take us through your processes or when you first discovered that. How did that land with you? How were you are able to discern which is what?
I usually experience it as a feeling. If I do not have someone to talk to, to ask me questions, I will write it down. I will write the question down then I will experience it as uh-huh or ah-ah. If I do not get any answer, I also do muscle testing. I do not even know how to describe it at the moment but I feel like I get it as a light feeling. If I feel a heavy feeling then I ask further questions. I will say, “Who does this belong to? Is this mine? What do I need to let go of in terms of getting that clear answer?” Sometimes, I’m okay with not knowing the answer. I might not have the answer.
Usually, I will experience it when it is a yes as this joy, uh-huh or this lightness. My process also is I sit with it. Where in the past my intuition I would say, “I got an intuition.” I dive and I’m a quick start. I like to dive right in. I fall in love very easily with people. What I realized through the years and studying human design is that my process is better for me to sit because of something that could seem like a bad idea. If I sit within a little longer, it might be a good idea. Something that I think is like, “My God,” and I jump in. It might not be in my best interests.
Be open but be discerning because not everything is what you see.
There is a lot of people out there who are authentic and care. There are a lot of people who are great at marketing. I say this to my kids all the time. I’m like, “I want you to be open but I also want you to be discerning because not everything is what you see and take a minute to think about it. Do your research and sit with how you feel.” Walking is good for me too. I get answers while walking.
You brought up a good point especially in the pandemic world that we are living in now with all of the hustle and bustle and the never-ending to-do list. People now are working, homeschooling, navigating all of the fear, the uncertainty, the judgments and all of the things. What a powerful reminder to stop, breathe, take your time and sit on it for a minute. Not everything needs to operate on work speed, even though sometimes it feels that way. Thank you for that reminder to take your time. We forget that on this hamster wheel of daily routine and the chaos of all the things that happen in day-to-day life.
Everything has become microwave and instant gratification and we forget. Some of us are old enough to remember when you have the wait for the film to be developed like seven days then it became an hour. Even an hour was too long. Now, I think I have like 20,000 pictures on my phone. Having that patience is something that I’m working on.
I invite everybody else to do it as well because it is so easy. I like to call them ego landmines, especially with social media and a lot of the division that is going on. It is easy to be triggered at any moment. To make sure to take breaks from social and to give yourself time away from your phone. I do my best not to pick it up first thing. I usually like to say my thanks that I got another day to exist and that is a gift.
Continuing on that vein, what is something that you have done to push yourself out of your comfort zone and to overcome the fear of judgment?
I would not even be here on this interview now if it was not for my stand-up comedy experience. I remember a client came up to me and I was sharing a story with her. She said, “Brooke, you are so funny.” I go, “What do you mean? What are you talking about? I’m not funny. Only my good friends think I’m funny.”
She is like, “You are funny.” I came from graduation and we did a stand-up comedy class in Richfield, Connecticut at the Ridgeville Playhouse.” I said, “That scares the living daylights out of me. I’m going to do it.” I came home and told my husband I was signing up for the stand-up comedy class then he signed up for it too. I did stand-up comedy in front of 250 people. It was the most liberating experience of my entire life.
Feel the fear and do it anyway and get out there. You wrote a children’s book to help with this. Tell us a little bit about that.
I co-wrote this with my husband. We are co-creators together. It is called The Sly Fox of the Mind. How it came to be was my four-year-old at that time came home and told me that a little girl at school told her that she was not pretty and she was pretty upset. I took her to the mirror and I said, “Who gets to say you are pretty?” She pointed to me and I said, “No, you are the one.” At four years old, I did not know how I was going to explain the ego and the voices in your head that try to take you out, everything we spoke about in this interview.
I explained to her that there was a sly fox and this good fox. The sly fox tries to tell you things that aren’t true. We proceeded to teach her through this story so we turned it into a children’s book. What was very interesting is that the parents who were reading it were also getting something out of it. All-day long, we hear the voices in our head or somebody out there. You can give your power away to them when you know that feeling of feeling light versus feeling heavy that we spoke about. That is all in this children’s book that we co-wrote together.
You have done and continue to do so many things. You have incredible passion. What drives you?
What drives me is connecting people to the divine and to others, seeing people fulfill their dreams and activating the love inside other people and myself. I always shake my head and I look around at the world and I say, “How are we still not getting along?” My husband and I and my business partner, independently with her husband, have the same motto and it is called do good, have fun. For me, that is what drives me is fun, creativity, inspiration, inspiring others, being inspired and collaborating. That is it. I want to raise the consciousness of the planet. I want to bring more joy to the planet, to my family and to those with who I connect. That is what drives me.
Let’s imagine that you have come to the end of your life best lived, a life where every single day you have lived your fullest purpose. You have lived your passion. You have been able to stay in that driver’s seat. What do you want to be remembered for? What is your legacy?
I would say my friend Mark Anthony Bates says this, “Do something good for somebody without getting caught.” To me, I would love at the end of my life to see a ripple effect of that where I do not even need to know how I have impacted people. I do not need to be famous and have 100 million followers that everything matters and nothing matters that. One of my best friends passed away years ago. She did not have a husband and did not have the business. She knew everything. She knew Marie Kondo before Oprah. We were sitting in hospice and I saw how she made a difference in people’s lives.
She would intuitively feel that she needed to send someone a book and that person told me, “She saved my marriage by sending me that book.” To me, all the bells and whistles of best-selling authors and things like that are great but that is not what drives me. At the end of my life, I want to know that I made a difference. Even if it is like those small ripple effects, that is good. I do not even have to know that it happened. That would make me feel super satisfied. I feel super satisfied at the moment now.
That was beautiful. We should all leave such a legacy.
You are doing it.
As we wrap up, are there any parting words of wisdom or any final thoughts that you want to share with the audience?
Since I’m on the path of remembering those who have passed, I would say breathe, give and ask every day what my most inspired action is and take time to listen to it.
How can people find out more about your work and connect with you?
Run and connect with Brooke. She is incredible. Brooke, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much for having me. It has been a pure joy.
Until next time.
- Link Lab
- Self Love and Self Care
- Brooke Connect - LinkedIn
- High Vibe Collaboration
- The Game of Life and How to Play It
About Brooke Emery
Brooke Emery is a creative business strategist with roots in advertising, publicity and film. Recognized by Forbes magazine as a connector, she’s on a mission to change the traditional joint venture and affiliate marketing models by using her vast global network to create business development strategies that elevate profits and amplify social impact through aligned and strategic heart-centered collaborations.
Brooke is the Co-Founder of Link Lab, a Joint Venture and Affiliate Management Agency, that highlights its clients' unique gifts and gets their message out to the masses. She is also the Co-Creator of the Self Love & Self Care community, which teaches people how to love and care for themselves more consciously so they can shine brighter in the world.